I'll give, but what do I get?

I was at one of those swanky mill-and-swill fund-raising galas not too long ago — you know, the kind where you spend $400 on a ticket to support your cause, and $4,000 on the outfit, shoes, bag, jewelry, hairstyling, mani/pedi, waxing, glycolic peel and Botox touch-up.

Does this even make sense?

I was invited as a guest and it is a cause I believe in, so I said OK (although I don't really like going to these things). But as I looked around while munching on wasabi-crusted ahi-tempura shrimp wonton puffs and sipping my martini, I had to wonder — would anyone have whipped out his checkbook and written a big fat check to the nonprofit if there wasn't a party attached to it?

"Kat, you're so naive," my friend who works in nonprofits sighs. "Big fancy galas attract people who might not ever think to give to an organization, but they want to see and be seen. Sometimes, they donate a lot more than the ticket cost. Plus, if it's a political fund-raiser, it gives them a chance to schmooze with the candidate."

I get that, but I still have a problem with the type of thinking that says the only way you're going to support a cause is if you get something back from it — a night of gawking, munching and quaffing.

(And speaking of quaffing, there is more drinking at these kinds of events than at a spontaneous teenage get-together — and then they all get behind the wheel of their BMWs, Lexuses, Audis and Porsches and head home. This is scary ....)

Do you have to "get" something in order for you to donate to an organization you believe in? Do you have to "get" something from anything you care about (people, too) before you'll give of yourself?

And should the cops be hanging out at these soirees instead of the bars they usually watch?