“... and she’s, like, so whacked out or something. Like she’s got PMS all the time.”
And there, in the middle of a beautiful, sunny day, in my beautiful little town, was the answer to all the big, bad problems with women.
We bleed.
But maybe not for much longer.
There's been big news lately in the World o' The Curse, mostly a pill that stops periods.
I'm no fan of periods, although it's a part of who I am as a woman and I accept that. But, really, it's not called The Curse for nothing. It hurts, it's messy, we worry about it when it doesn't come (and hate it when it does), most men (and even women) don't fully understand it and then there's the PMS thing that turns (or so many men say) normally nice women into raging, weepy, bitchy monsters.
I was thinking about PMS and that twentysomething's conversation while I was on the bowl at work this week (and I have to say, I love that I get paid to do that. I figure with all the water, coffee and green tea I drink throughout the day, I’m probably pulling in about $25, $30 a day just to take care of the same bodily functions I do at home for free!). The reason why it came to my (troubled, as one reader says) mind is because I noticed the red “Biological Hazard” sticker on the little metal container for women to place their soiled sanitary products. We are always being reminded, no matter where we go, not to flush those things down the toilet.
And we are always being reminded — even while we're enjoying a lazy Mill Valley day — about how "whacked out" our periods make us.
Could it be that a little pill would make all of that a thing of the past?
And that got me thinking about periods in the past. So I had to go back to my favorite weird Web site, the Museum of Menstruation and Women’s Health, which has a fascinating article on what women here and in Europe did before tampons and sanitary pads were invented (which was relatively recent). And you know what? Most wore ... nothing.
Think about that ...
So, even though women back in those days didn't have many periods to begin with (the Web site explains why), still — there were a lot of bloody women around.
And because of our bloody ways:
"People could, and often did, interpret menstruation as something bad — a sign of infertility, for example, and meaning the woman was not doing her 'job.' Reinforcing this was the fact that the appearance of non-menstrual blood indicated something amiss; why should menstrual blood be any different? This might partly account for the many beliefs about the evil effects of menstruating women: they weren’t doing their job as women."
Right. We're evil, weepy slackers. And whacked.
I'm not so sure people still think women aren't doing our "job" if we're infertile (although I imagine there is some subtle judgment about that), but myths about women and their periods persist, so it’s no wonder why women want it to go away.
Men, too, because what man hasn’t blamed PMS for whatever thing his lover has ever said or done wrong to piss him off?
And, evidently, the no-period pill seems to help with PMS, which is a good thing, too, because I often imagined that at some point, some "whacked" women tired of the whole "blame-PMS thing" were going to unite and, carrying bags of those "biological hazards" — our own personal WMD — hold their lovers, hubbies, fathers and bosses hostage or something and demand that they stop blaming us for our hormones!
So — who's going with the no-period pill and who's not, and why?
And what's the oddest thing your sweetie has blamed your PMS for?
One more odd thing. When The Kid was a baby, I wrestled with the disposable/cloth diaper thing because of environmental concerns. But it never even occurred to me the impact of all my sanitary needs. Amazingly enough, it has had a huge impact on society, according to Susan Strasser's "Waste and Want: A Social History of Trash" (Henry Holt & Company), which explores the relationship between women's periods and our throw-away culture. Yes, you read that right. There's a big link. Go figure.
From the early 1800s to the 1920s, women were pretty clever at fashioning all sort of needs out of what they had on hand, including transforming rags into menstrual pads. But after the turn of the 20th century, Kotex and Modess appeared, promoting "cleanliness and convenience." Their ads also played into our anxieties about how we stacked up against others, and even our snobiness. "80 percent or more better-class women have discarded ordinary ways for Kotex,'' one 1920s ad trumpeted.
Knowing how many women can be rather competitive, I wonder if the Ladies Who Lunch compare sanitary products, too ....

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